Have you ever felt like you just can’t understand what’s going on inside guys’ heads? Or perhaps you’d just like a straight answer from a cute college guy about what makes a girl beautiful? Fly Magazine decided to pick the minds of three cute college guys for all of our unanswered questions.
Matt, 25, a Penn State Junior majoring in International Politics with aspirations of being an
ambassador one day between Russia and the United States. He enjoys working out, interning
with political figures and hanging out with his friends.
Matt – Physically, there’s a ratio between the waist and hips, it’s a natural attraction.
Justin – A girl’s face. I’m not really into girls who cake on makeup
Tony – Physically, their face – it has to be nice.
What makes a girl approachable?
Matt – A smile – not girls who look cold and calculating.
Justin – I don’t know, I find all girls approachable.
Tony – The quiet type. I find them more approachable.
Boyshorts or thongs?
Matt – Boyshorts, [definitely].
Justin – Thongs.
Tony – Boyshorts; thongs are too ‘90’s.
At what point does she get to meet Mom?
Matt – Once you start officially dating.
Justin – Once you’re comfortable being naked around each other
Tony - When you know there is going to be a commitment.
What’s the difference between a “one night stand” girl and a girl you want a relationship with?
Matt – The difference is chemistry, I suppose – If I hook up with a girl on the first date, I’m not saying I won’t be taking her home to Mom.
Justin – When you know you want to be with someone, you just know – It’s hard to explain.
Tony – Relationship girl has to have the total package.
Ratio of one-night stands to relationships:
Matt – 5:2
Justin – 5:2
Tony – 0:3
Is it sexy when a girl uses dirty language? (i.e. F-word, hell, etc.)
Matt – Yes, but there’s a time and place for it.
Justin – Yes, during appropriate times. Not in front of my mom.
Tony – It can be cute, but it’s a turnoff if they overdo it.
What do you consider to be “slutty”?
Matt - A girl who needs to be with somebody just to be with someone.
Justin – Girls who wear shorts with their butt cheeks hanging out.
Tony – A girl that makes her intentions known within the first few minutes of meeting.
How long do you think a relationship should be in order to justify sexual relations?
Matt – Me, myself, have a three date rule. If nothing happens by the third date, she’s gone.
Justin – Two months of being in a relationship.
Tony – Within the first week.
Sporty girl or girly girl?
Matt- I prefer a girl who has some athletic ability, but I don’t need the setter of the Penn State volleyball team.
Justin – I like a girl who wears heels but can still play in the mud.
Tony – Sporty girl. I love a girl who takes care of her body.
Who pays on the first date?
Matt – Guy always pays. MANDATORY!
Justin – Definitely the guy.
Tony – If I asked her out – I pay.
What do you feel is a “normal” age to be getting married?
Matt – It depends on the area – I’ll say 27 – By then you have 4 or 5 years of work experience.
Justin – 25- That’s a perfect age.
Tony – 24. 25 is over the hump.
How do you feel about dating an older woman? (Over five years)
Matt - I’ve been with a couple older women. The thing about being with older women is that they’re secure – they know what they want.
Justin – I don’t know if I could do that. I’m too immature and insecure.
Tony – I respect a mature woman who knows where she’s going.
How do you feel about dating a younger woman? (No more than -5)
Matt – To date a younger girl she has to be mature – I mean she has to be secure with herself.
Justin – Uh, I could see that. It’s different because girls can be mature and it’s harder for guys to act mature
Tony – That’s illegal. 15 will give you 20.
How has the media influenced your “dream woman”, if at all?
Matt – It personifies what I look for in my dream girl. Maybe “bits and pieces” of the perfect woman in my mind.
Justin – I think the media portrays women as being super sexy, you know? They’re not real.
Tony – Not at all. Most women in the media are not my type anyway.
As we enter into a new decade and continue into the 21st century, it is only appropriate that FLY recognizes some of the most influential women of the 20th and women who are writing history. These women have become pioneers in their fields and continue to create change around the globe. Congresswoman Barbara Jordan, Wendy Abrams, Sarah Buel and Gillian Christie all worked a cause and continue to shed light on the issues that are most important to them.
The Love Formula
It’s a standard formula. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl live happily ever after. Of course, there are substitutions, sometimes its 'boy meets boy' or 'girl and girl fall in love, but the formula remains constant. Monogamy is taught from day one of socialization reinforced by family tradition, pop culture, and the government. But is there only one formula of love?
Meet the working formula that is polyamory. Polyamory literally means 'many loves'. Morning Glory Zell, calls it 'responsible non-monogmay' in her book “ A Banquet of Lovers”. Her basic concept of polyamory is that the amount of love a partner can give and experience is not a tangible, finite amount. Polyamory holds that love is infinite and individuals are capable of loving multiple partners equally, at the same time, which may or may not include sexual intimacy.
Most people hear 'multiple partners' and think of sluts, whores, and promiscuity. Polyamory looks like nothing more than a ploy to give a pretty name to deviant behavior. Yet, the foundation of a polyamorous relationship is said to be honesty with all partners involved. It’s common to assume that a polyamorous relationship would be riddled with jealousy, deceit and cheating. But aren’t these the same emotions that plague monogamous relationships?
“...if something goes wrong in a monogamous marriage, nobody takes that as evidence against the practicality of monogamy – but if something goes awry in an open relationship, many folks instantly take that as proof that non-monogamy doesn't work.”
Society assigns one morally and politically preferred pattern of loving, heterosexual and monogamous. But is there really only one formula to love?
Monogamy usually focuses on a romanticized idea of a 'better half' and 'one true love,' yet these concepts do not work for every person. Culture teaches that being single is being incomplete, that not raising a family is unfulfilling and that to express true feelings of love shows a lack of self-restraint and sacrifice.
Although polyamory literally means multiple loving relationships it is really about a practical and ethical relationship of choice. Polyamory is about creating a unique formula of love for each person; the factors of that unique equation are up for individual evaluation and implementation.
I remember in grade school when I told my mother for the first time that I wanted to become a vegetarian. “Jeremy, only hippies are vegetarians, besides, you'd shrivel up without you're protein. Now eat you're meatloaf,” my mom would say. I spent my life, like most other Americans, being raised on meat and dairy. They were excellent sources of protein, calcium and iron, and they tasted pretty good too. When I came to college, I suddenly became the decision-maker in what I ate for every meal. Chicken, cookies and milk at every Penn State dining hall. True freedom of choice! And then I met Laura Colt (junior).
When Laura Colt first told me she was a vegan, I thought it was some rare blood disease. It turns out that veganism is the practice of not eating anything that utilized animal products. Most vegetarians eliminate meat, poultry and even fish from their diet, but vegans go a step further by eliminating dairy, egg and slew of other animal products. The first thing I asked Laura was why would you do that to yourself?
“When I was younger, I always wanted to be vegetarian. My freshman year [of college] I watched a documentary about animal cruelty called Earthlings, and it really hit me,” Colt said. “I decided to stop eating all animal products. I didn't really think I could do it. But it wasn't that hard [and] there were a lot of options out there. It just sort of became a habit.”
Earthlings is a 2006 documentary about animal rights directed by Shaun Monson and narrated by Joaquin Phoenix. The documentary was horrifying. Many of the clips from the movie were filmed by undercover reporters or activists exposing the methods and practices of slaughterhouses. Baby chicks have their beaks sheared off so they don't peck their neighbors in their close quarters. Pigs have their teeth removed, their tails cut off and ears trimmed all to reduce the instances of cannibalism that results from malnourishment. Cows are inflicted with third-degree burns via brands. All of these procedures are done without anesthetics and the cries of these animals exhibit that.
The documentary also showed the ineffective ways in which these animals are killed. Many are still alive when they go to the boiler to have their hair, feathers or skin removed.
I had sat down to enjoy a plate of pizza rolls during the documentary but I ended up throwing them out. I was going to become a vegan. I thought of all the things I would never be able to eat and I got worried. How could I possible eat this way on and off campus with my college budget?
Colt told me it was easy to eat vegan on campus because the commons clearly label the meals as vegan and vegetarian and also always offer a salad bar. Once she moved off campus, Colt said she started shopping at Giant or Wegmans because of their organic and vegan sections. She said that McLanahans really didn’t offer too many options.
Colt agreed to go with me on my first vegan shopping spree at the local Giant. When we walked in, the first item I pulled off the shelf was a box of Cheez-its, because powdered cheese wasn't real cheese, right? I was mistaken. Laura told me a lot of products will contain some form of milk or eggs and that I would have to check the ingredients label to be sure it didn’t contain any animal by-products like milk fat or whey.
“Gelatin is a no – its ground up animal hooves,” Colt said. “A lot of products like soups, sauces and condiments will have some type of animal broth which won't be listed as an allergy.”
When in the organic section I was surprised to find some of my favorite products there; sour cream, milk, cheese, yogurt, chicken, hot dogs. They were all made out of soy. I asked Laura if she felt like she was eating the same foods all the time.
“I think there is a larger variety of food options,” Colt said. “Most people eat chicken or beef a few times a day. There are so many veggies, fruits and forms of soy. I love soy; it’s so versatile and tasty.” Colt said that fake soy chicken tasted exactly like chicken but with a different texture. She said that chickens are fed soybeans so the meat they produce is soy-made.
My mother's words of wisdom began to echo in the back of my head, “...you'll shrivel up without your protein...”. Was poor nutrition going to become a major concern for the new vegan-me?
“Whenever people find out I'm vegan, their main concern is 'how do you get your protein' and the witty response I always say is 'I drink a lot of semen',” Colt said.
She then went on to explain how protein is found in a variety of foods available to vegans. She said that it is rare for anyone to suffer from protein deficiency and that she is able to get all her nutrients, besides Vitamin B12, from fruits and vegetables. Colt take a vitamin supplement only for B12.
When I asked Colt how her health changed since she started eating vegan she said, “Well, I survive on Uncle Chen's tofu, so I might not be considered the healthiest vegan.” She said she “noticed a considerable change” when she switched her diet and became more alert.
“I also lost over ten pounds but then I went on birth control and it made sure I gained it back,” Colt said.
When it came time for check out the cashier chuckled as she scanned my 8 boxes of Boca burgers. Colt said she normally gets made fun of when she tells people she is vegan.
“For me, veganism is really just a personal choice. I try not to play the annoying activist or wear it like badge,” Colt said. “I try and inform in a non-judgmental way.”
I thought then of what my mom would say when I went home and refused her meatloaf.
“When I first told my parents my mom was pissed, mainly because she'd have to cook differently for me,” Colt said. “Now they are both totally supportive.”
Packing my groceries into my trunk, I was excited to not only try out a new diet but a new lifestyle.
“The main reason I became vegan was because of the animal cruelty aspect, but it’s also a great way to stay in shape and help the environment,” Colt said.
Four weeks into my new vegan lifestyle and I’m feeling better than ever. It’s a learning process where I find more reasons to be vegan every day. Instead of feeding into my cravings for a buffalo chicken cheese steak and a tall glass of two percent milk, I grab a Morning Star Spicy Chik Patty and tall glass of Silk Milk that makes me wonder why I didn’t start eating this way years ago.
When I asked Colt if there was anything specific she wanted to tell our readers, she said, “Hug a vegan!”
“There's such a stigma and negative response to [veganism] and people judge it as liberal or hippie. It’s a personal choice that doesn't affect meat eaters, so you can be nice to us. We're not bad people,” Colt said.
What Does it Mean to be a FEMINIST?
By Madeline Martinez
When you hear the word feminist, what comes to mind?
A) A butch woman spending a long summer's day playing with her unshaven leg hair?
B) A woman that has a short haircut, wears boots as opposed to heals, and spends her time at the gym lifting way too many weights?
C) A woman that prefers another woman because she hates men way too much to even want to speak to them?
D) Does a woman or a man come to mind?
It is interesting to see how many stereotypes come to mind when you hear a WORD.
Not everyone takes the time to do research on what a word really means – or in this case what being a feminist is all about. When some hear the word feminist, some may think of the man-hating-woman next door, others think that feminists shouldn’t be fighting for equality because women and men are already equal.
Many may think that all feminists are women. There are those few that believe that feminists are sinners and will either eventually burn in hell or will die at their hands.
So, what does it REALLY mean to be a feminist?
Do we say the hell with razors I’m going to grow armpit hair? Or do we enjoy the pleasures of man bashing at group meetings?
Merriam-Webster online: fem·i·nism
1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2 : organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests
Feminist: A woman (or man?) who wants equal rights for both sexes. However, in order to truly achieve EQUAL rights, chivalry (paying the bill, leaving the door open, etc...) must be banished from society as well as all those old archaic rules about women. So, to all you feminists who want equal rights AND special treatment, I say, pick one or the other damn it.
What Defines a Feminist?
“A person that takes into account equality, especially those of women. Yes, I’m a feminist.”
Prentiss Dantzler, Junior - Energy Business and Finance
"I relate it to the feminist movement back in the day. Feminism is usually given a bad connotation, a bad rep. It's basically for the fight of women's right by any means necessary. I don’t consider myself a feminist."
Brian Clement, Sophomore - Media Studies
"A person, most likely a woman, having a strong opinion towards gaining rights and complete equality for women. I don’t consider myself a feminist.”
Molly Kline, Sophomore - Education
Here's What Some of You had to Say
“A person that believes in women's rights. I don’t know if I would consider myself a feminist.”
Josh Skrerel, Junior - Kinesiology
Emily: "I think, standing up for female rights - vigoriously."
Colan: "In someways, feminism goes anti-male."
Joey: "In most cases, it is a fight for equal opportunities."
Emily Falkow, Sophomore - Psychology
Colan Ridel, Sophomore - Business Managent
Joey Albanese, Sophomore - International Politics
How Young is Too Young?
By Nicole Benner
Boys had cooties when I was in elementary school. My friends and I were busy playing don’t touch the lava, which was actually mulch, and the boys would play some random game where they would punt the ball across a field and the other team would get it. As we grew, we would intermix; students began “dating” which consisted of holding hands and occasionally hugging. A few daring students pecked each other on the lips before the teacher entered the room. They were few and far between though. We were, after all, only in elementary school.
“When I was in 5th and 6th grade, we used to go out for recess and everyone would crowd around each other to watch two people who were 'dating' have their first kiss,” recalled one freshman. “They would peck each other on the lips then run away.”
By my 7th and 8th grade year, a few of the students were sexually active but that number was small and remained small until about my junior year. Losing your virginity on prom night is so cliché, but I feel like this is around the time many of the students in my school lost theirs.
Lately, I feel the age that an average personal loses his or her virginity is getting younger. When I was on vacation with my aunt’s coworker -- she and my aunt work in an elementary school -- she told me that she caught two 5th graders about to have sex in the principal’s office. They were naked when she walked in.
Two things about this story bothered me. The first was that they were in the 5th grade and the second was that they were in the principal’s office! When did that become a “thing to do?”
There are stories everywhere in the news. Two 6th graders in Indiana had sex in a classroom with at least one other student present. The teacher was in the room as well. In Louisiana, four 5th graders had sex in a classroom while one other stood as lookout in case any teachers appeared. Obviously, in this case, there was no teacher in the room.
Is this normal? There are twice as many females pregnant in my brother’s high school class than there ever were in mine, and he is only a freshman! So how young is too young?
It is a complex question that does not have a simple answer. So many factors go into someone being “ready,” including experiences, relationships and personality. For 5th and 6th graders, it is not so complex. Most have not hit puberty yet and if they have, they are in very early stages. If sex organs have not fully matured, then the body is not ready for sex.
Secondly, with the cases above, if someone is having sex in front of other people as a show, then they are definitely not mature enough to be having sex.
As for teens that have been through puberty and are physically ready, the answer rests with them. To be mature enough for sex, one should know the consequences and be truly ready, not “doing it to do it.” This is, after all, one thing that can’t be taken back once it’s gone.
Two Guys, a Girl, and a Toilet Seat
By Brianna Lieberman
Oh, the joy of morning; the first ray of sunshine creeping across my face, the refreshing stretches to warm-up groggy muscles. I slide my feel out to the side of my warm bed, still imprinted from where I’ve spent the last eight hours.
Next in my schedule, I pull on my softer-than-air robe and head out to the bathroom I share with my two roommates. I flick on the overhead light and as if the fog has been lifted, I’m suddenly aware that I -- the sole female of our townhouse -- am not in Kansas anymore.
A simple routine I’ve been getting into since the semester started, a little dance to avoid the horrors of two male roommates, begins when I cross into the threshold of mutual living. With one hand to the light, one foot moves to flush and then drop the lid on the adjacent toilet, and all the while I balance and brush at the same time. A modern woman, that’s what I am.
A modern woman who lives in the modern world and knows the statistics of coexisting with two men. For instance, if the toilet seat is left up one hundred percent of the time and yet both roommates claim that they, also one hundred percent of the time put the seat down, then it must be me, the female, who leaves the seat up. When confronted with these numbers, both men agreed: I must have had a sex change operation, or we have a ghost living with us.
But of course, being observant helps me track down the culprits. As we females know, men sometimes lack in the hygiene department. A shower for us equates spraying half a bottle of cologne for a man.
Yes, I have scent-coded roommates. Scent-coding is easy to do when cheap cologne seeps into every part of our townhouse. It’s almost like a scented pathway that tells me who had been where and how long it took them to leave.
Perhaps the best part of living with guys is the fact that they don’t shave like we do. They much prefer to hack off genetic bits from their faces right where the rest of us brush our teeth.
I think there is a simple solution to all of this: if they can shave in the sink, well, then so can I. From now on, I will shave my legs in the sink and leave the evidence -- as they do -- all over the basin. I will also stop showering and begin pouring perfume on myself as a substitute -- I hear Febreze works well.
And as for the toilet seat, since I am the one leaving it up one hundred percent of the time, I don’t see anything than can be done about that.